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Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Break Up

A lot of thing happened in past 9 months. Full of ups and downs I would say.

I ended my 2 years relationship early this year and I tried my very best to make everything clear. It was not easy to make such a decision. I was in dilemma for a few months and kept struggling before I really decided I want a breakup. I know it is time to let go when keep giving chance to our relationship doesn't make thing turn out better, in fact worse. The more I asked myself to not give up on our love, to hold on, then I realize my love and my feeling is gone. Literally gone.

I know somebody might think that it is selfish and irresponsible for me to say that I want a breakup just because I have "no feeling" anymore. To be honest, I did think about myself that way too. Each time I decided to give up our relationship, I started to recall back all the sweet memories between us and all the wonderful things that had happened to us last time. I used to think that in love with him was the best thing on earth. Then, I would changed my mind and asked myself to hold on. Keep repeating. But eventually thing didn't work out the way I want it to.

Time is a bitch.

Then I realize, hold on to a relationship just because I think it is not worth for me to break up has no meaning at all. I should live for myself. He deserves to meet someone who is right for him too. Unfortunately the lucky girl is not me.

I tried to keep everything low profile and didn't really tell anyone about my breakup except few of my close friends. I don't think that I need to tell and update everybody about my relationship status. It's something personal. Unless you come to me and ask me about it, then it's fine. I don't mind telling you because I have nothing to hide also.

Couple months ago, I'm in love with my current boyfriend. I shared first picture of us taken on my 23rd birthday on instagram and some not-so-close-friend or some who I don't even consider they are my friends started to spread rumour about us. I heard different version rumour everyday and I'm really amazed by their creativity. Seriously. How the hell they able to come out with such a good story which the content not even 1 percent is true. Applause.

Of course I felt sad and at the same time mad at those who created all these bullshit rumours when I first knew about it, but eventually I learnt to forgive and forget. The reason is simple.

信你的人不必解释,不信你的人又何需解释。

I shouldn't really care how others think of me as long as I am living the life I want, I am happy with it, and I have the ability to bear whatever consequences that might occur to me. Afterall, it's my life.

All these things let me realize who's really my true friends. Thank you all I am sure you know who you are. Just want to let you know that I really appreciate you so much.

For those who spread rumours about me or believing in all kind of nonsense rumours, chill. Don't try to harm people just to let yourself feel a little bit happier. The happiness won't last long.

Till then. Cheers.




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